Lulu Brimley's Last-Chance Christian Books
(first appeared in Christianity Today. Awarded Year's Best Humor Article, Evangelical Press Association, 1998)

Lulu Brimley's store, Bound for Glory, deals in remaindered and second-hand sacred literature and trinkets. Stop by for a sale item:

* FICTION: This Predestined Passion (Volume 23 of The Prudence Trilogy). In this romantic epic, set against the shattering tumult of the Swiss Reformation, Prudence sails to Geneva and finds the grace of John Calvin to be irresistible. It's the romance that was meant to be--a love that reforms their worlds. Was $8.95, now $0.99.

* TOYS: Mighty Minor Prophetsª Action Figures: Nahum. Marked down again. Originally $9.95, now only $0.49. Still available: Obadiah.

* INSPIRATIONAL: Angels Unpretentious. Here's a refreshing slant on angel sightings. In these ten true accounts, angels are observed performing such mundane tasks as grouting bathroom tile, rotating tires, and finding missing sock mates. This book will convince you that not all angels hang out at dangerous intersections and burning houses. Was $18.95, now $0.99.

* BIBLE PRODUCTS: The ProofText Bible. A big decision looms. As always, you open the Good Book at random, shut your eyes, put your finger down somewhere, and grab some quick revelation. Now the Proof Text Bible gives you every verse of Scripture--randomly rearranged! Why not spread those wonderful nuggets from Proverbs or Philippians throughout Scripture? Kiss confusing contextual issues goodbye. Was $39, now $2.95.

* FICTION: Love's Great Awakening (Volume 37 of The Prudence Trilogy). Having regained inner peace after her heart-quaking Pennsylvania sojourn (Volume 36, Love Among Friends), Prudence finds herself romantically torn between the two Wesley brothers. Can true love be lost? Or was it ever really love in the first place? Was $8.95, now $0.99.

* SELF-HELP: Life's Little Book of Vague Anxieties. Have you thanked Aunt Edna for the Christmas gift? Are you certain you turned off the oven before you left? What's really in your drinking water? Who is talking behind your back? A vague anxiety each day to keep alert, concerned believers on their toes while they're on their knees. Was $9.95, now $0.99.

* REFERENCE: The Collected Blurbs of J. I. Packer. Any book worth reading has a short dust-jacket recommendation from J. I. Here are hundreds of the best cover endorsements from the "King of Blurbs." "Outstanding. Every Christian should own it!" --J. I. Packer. Was $18.50, now $0.45.

* TOYS: Talking C. S. Lewis Doll for Thinking Children. With a special child like yours, not just any toy will do. Her relationship with Barney is an intellectual dead end. Why not give her a plush, platonic companion who isn't purple, jolly, and overbearing--but wry and pensive? It's C. S. Lewis himself! Not particularly huggable, but a doll your child will respect. Pull the ring and hear a sound bite from The Problem of Pain or The Abolition of Man. Oxford gown not included. Was $29.95, any offer accepted.

* ON TAPE AND CD: Fiddlin' and Chantin'. It's the Next Big Thing in gospel music. What happens when classic Gregorian chants meet down-home bluegrass? It's a medieval hootenanny! All those great hits from the seventh century really come to life on banjo and harmonica. "Outstanding. Every Christian should own it!"--J. I. Packer. Was $15.99, now $0.95.

* EDUCATIONAL PRODUCTS: The Complete Prenatal Scripture Memory System. Studies indicate the womb is life's best learning environment. Why shouldn't your child enter the world with a pretty good grasp of key Scripture verses? Was $9.99, now $0.99.

* BIBLES: The Dysfunctional Disciple's Bible. It's comforting to know that Bible heroes were neurotic folk like you and me. This edition identifies the syndromes or disorders afflicting various Scriptural characters. Did you know the nation of Israel suffered from Attention Deficit Disorder during the Book of Judges? What made those disciples keep falling asleep in the garden? Buy the book and see. Was $34.99, now whatever price won't upset you.

* ALSO CLOSED OUT. FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED: The Canadian Application BibleBrimstone! The Game of Rebuke for AdultsLove's Augustinian Confessions (Volume 13 in The Prudence Trilogy)Eusebius! The Musical (on tape and cd)Rappin' with the Gaither TrioFat Chants (Those lovable Benedictine monks are back with a full Gregorian fitness workout!)

Enjoy more tales http://www.robsuggs.com, c.2004 By Rob Suggs, All Rights Reserved.

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